“But, I don’t want to”

Even before kids can say those words, they are thinking them and communicating them with “meltdowns” or temper tantrums.  But once they can form the words, “I don’t want to”…they are frequently used.

My response was often to listen to the why and compromise.  It’s good for kids to learn to defend their opinion. If they felt listened to, then they learn to do that defending in a reasonable and respectful way.  But as often as compromising, my response was, you don’t have to “want” to ….but you do “have” to.  The discussion time was over.

I found that if there is a healthy balance of listening and compromising, then the resistance to the “have to” was minimized.  I have always believed that raising children is really training them how to be emotionally, relationally, spiritually, and relationally healthy adults.  I don’t know about you, but I find myself quite often doing things that I “have” to do, but I don’t “want” to do.  Anyway…It worked for me!