Communicating with pre-teens and teenagers requires strategy and creativity. They communicate best with you when it’s on their terms and their timing. Most of the time, it’s later in the day than we have the least amount of energy or brain power for conversation ….but you have to take what you get. When our kids came home late at night and came in to plop on the bed to talk…we did our best to wake up and engage right then and there. It’s a moment that won’t carry over for a morning conversation.
The other strategy that worked for me was “strategic placement”. After school or in the evening when they were returning home from somewhere or finishing homework, I would place myself in the most central place in the house (for us it was the kitchen) and just hang out working on something/anything, ready for whatever conversation might happen. In other words, I made myself available.
After more than 12 years of your kids being dependent on you, these independent years include the temptation to enjoy your freedom, but the opportunities to hear what is on your kid’s mind are sometimes few and far between. It’s worth the effort and …it has worked for me.
it has worked for me 
You shared that with me a number of years ago… it was the best advice!!!!! I am so thankful for your wisdom!